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EuroEnglish


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aleb
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EuroEnglish
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PostPosted: 14.3.2005, 06:22 View PostDownload Post

The European Commission has just announced an
agreement that English will be the official language
of the EU, rather than German (the other possibility).
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government
conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement, and
has accepted a 5-year phase-in of new rules which
would apply to the language and reclassify it as
EuroEnglish. The agreed plan is as follows: In year 1,
the soft 'c' would be replaced by 's'. Sertainly, this
will make the sivil
servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be replaced
by 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards
kan now have one less letter. There will be growing
publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome 'ph' is replaced by 'f'.
This will reduse 'fotograf' by 20%. In the 3rd year,
publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of
double letters, which have always ben a deterent to
akurate
speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the
silent 'e's in the language is disgrasful and they
should eliminat them. By year 4, peopl wil be reseptiv
to lingwistik korektions such as replasing 'th' with
'z' and 'w' with 'v' (saving mor keyboard spas).
During ze fifz year, ze
unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou'
and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters. After zis fifz year, ve vil
hav a reli sensibil riten styl. Zer vil be no mor
trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find
it ezi to understand ech ozer.... ZE DREM VIL FINALI
KUM TRU!!! VE VIL AL SPIK LIK GERMANS !!!  :mrgreen:
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